Womanizer
by kitsunechibiko
Summary: Because Puck wants to know just how everyone's been having these Britney Spears fantasies.  Vaguely explicit Puckurt.  Don't like, don't read.  Tag to Glee's "Britney/Brittany" episode.


**So,yeah, the companion to my "Crazy," which I might actually replace with "Circus". Don't know. I just think this song is perfect for Puck, and I hope I wrote it well enough for you to see why.**

**I used Britney Spear's "Womanizer". Here's the link: http : / www . youtube . com / watch ? v= vbvadq 2hY0s & feature = related Don't forget to take out the spaces. I cut out one verse and I changed the words for one line, which are in []s. Have fun. I know I did.  
**

**Here's bringing you to a fantasy.**

The music started, and he watched as a naked Britney Spears lounged in a sauna, the steam obscuring his view from what he really wanted to see. Shit, that was unfair.

_Superstar, where you from? How's it going?_

Wait. That wasn't his voice. That wasn't even Britney's voice. Wasn't _he_ supposed to be the one singing in his fantasy? Oh, well, now Britney Spears was being all sexy and walking around in lingerie. He could deal._  
I know you got a clue what you're doing.  
You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here,  
But I know what you are, what you are, baby._

But he knew this voice. Fucking, girly-manly voice.

Why the hell was goddamn Hummel singing in his hallucination?

_Look at you gettin' more than just a re-up._

The scene changed and he was in an office. The silent-Britney had changed her look and was now giving him a lap dance. Much better. Screw Hummel's voice in the background, he wasn't going to let that ruin his fantasy._  
Baby, you got all the puppets with their strings up,  
Fakin' like a good one but I call 'em like I see 'em.  
I know what you are, what you are, baby._

Britney then leaned down to kiss him.

_Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer,_

What the hell! _This_ song? God, his life sucked. Even his fucking dreams were nagging at him!_  
Oh, womanizer, oh, you're a womanizer, baby._

Now he knew why Hummel was singing. That little bitch._  
You, you-you are, you, you-you are  
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer.  
(Womanizer)_

Britney then stood up and walked away. The jock cursed-out the male soprano as his fantasy had gottten decidedly less interesting.

He leaned back in his chair and tried to ignore the song, a scowl on his face.

_Boy don't try to front,  
I-I know just-just what you are are-are.  
Boy don't try to front,  
I-I know just-just what you are are-are._

_(You!)  
You got me goin'.  
(You!)  
You're oh, so charmin'.  
(You!)  
But I can't do it,  
(You!)  
You womanizer.  
_

Then he saw the diva, himself, walking toward him, decked out in a crisp white and black suit and superior attitude, singing.

_Boy don't try to front,  
I-I know just-just what you are are-are.  
Boy don't try to front,  
I-I know just-just what you are are-are._

Puck stomped up to the younger teen, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket. Hummel just kept his diva attitude, doing nothing more than raising an eyebrow.

_(You!)  
You say I'm crazy.  
(You!)  
I got your crazy.  
(You!)  
You're nothing but a  
(You!)  
Womanizer._

The ex-Cheerio surprised Puck by smirking. Pulling out of the other's grip, Hummel pushed the jock onto the desk and began to dance in front of him. But not, like, show choir choreography. The blue-eyed boy was dancing like a hot chick at a club. Or was it like a guy at a gay bar? Whatever. It was weird and kinda disturbing.

'Cuz it was actually pretty hot.

…What the fuck?

_Daddy-O, you got the swagger of a champion.  
Too bad for you, you just can't find the right companion.  
I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard—it could be easy.  
Who you are, that's just who you are, baby._

Somewhere during the dancing, both of them had lost their suit jackets and Hummel was now leaning into him, practically on his lap. The younger boy was smiling seductively as he sang the chorus, taking away the jab that the words had previously had.

_Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer,  
Oh, womanizer, oh, you're a womanizer, baby.  
You, you-you are, you, you-you are  
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer.  
(Womanizer)_

So, this was kinda weird. The diva-boy was pretty hot. And the way he danced was pretty hot. And Puck wasn't bothered by the fact that he _was thinking_ it was hot. So, yeah. Weird.

But he didn't think too much of it. What was the point? Hummel was being all sexy, and this was a fantasy. It wasn't gay 'cuz it wasn't real. Besides, his subconscious was probably just picking up on his memory of the soprano leaving the dentist's office while he had been in the waiting room. It wasn't his fault that he and the gay kid had made appointments on the same day. Or that the Hummel had winked at him before strutting out the door.

And with that thought, of course, the dream-Hummel winked at Puck and straddled him on the desk.

_Boy don't try to front,  
I-I know just-just what you are are-are.  
Boy don't try to front,  
I-I know just-just what you are are-are._

Great. Now it sounded like the diva was calling him gay.

_(You!)  
You got me goin'._

Hummel took off his tie._  
(You!)  
You're oh, so charmin'._

And then his vest._  
(You!)  
[So let's just] do it,  
(You!)_

The diva pulled him up by his tie and grinned._  
You womanizer.  
_

Puck's own tie and vest came off as the ex-Cheerio grinded down on him. The jock just grabbed the other boy's hips and pulled him closer.

Fuck the gay-crisis freak-out. Sex was sex.

_Boy don't try to front,  
I-I know just-just what you are are-are.  
Boy don't try to front,  
I-I know just-just what you are are-are._

Hummel unbuttoned the older teen's shirt, running his hands over the exposed chest appreciatively.

_(You!)  
You say I'm crazy.  
(You!)  
I got your crazy.  
(You!)  
You're nothing but a  
(You!)_

The soprano smiled wickedly as he tugged on the nipple ring._  
Womanizer._

On the off beat, the scene changed again, and they were in the back of a limo in the same state of not-really-undress with Hummel pinned under him.

_Maybe if we both lived in a different—  
_

"Can you shut up now so I can fuck you, already?"

The smaller boy's eyes widened in shock at the interruption, but his pursed lips gradually turned into a smile as he rolled his eyes and wrapped his legs around the jock's waist.

"'You're oh, so charming'," the diva replied sarcastically.

Puck just leered and started unbuttoning the other boy's shirt.

The music still played in the background, the back-up singers continuing like a karaoke track as the melody was left unsung.

Clothes were quickly shed, and they barely had enough time to look each other over before crashing into a heated kiss.

Their hands roamed as they grinded against each other. Hummel's nails dug into the jock's back as Puck bit and kissed his way down the pale neck. He was totally digging how easy it was to mark the boy.

In the heady swirl that all fantasies have, Puck was soon thrusting into the blue-eyed teen, drawing out all sorts of gasps, whimpers, moans, and cries from the extremely vocal boy. Dream-Hummel also liked to talk dirty, begging the running back to fuck him harder and attesting how much he loved having Puck's cock inside him.

With all the epic-ness that is a Puck-fantasy, the two teens did it for hours, needing no recuperation time or sustenance.

The jock was sure they would have gone on for days if it wasn't for Hummel screaming his name fading into the dentist telling him to wake up.

When he finally opened his eyes after one last dream orgasm, Puck was proud to see that he hadn't popped a boner or creamed his pants in his sleep. 'Cuz that would have been embarrassing. He also blamed the nitrous oxide for his body's lack of reaction because there was no way "Little Puck" wouldn't have responded to such an intense dream.

Walking out of the dentist's office, Puck hummed a little of the chorus, remembering the last few "hours" of his hallucination.

He decided that he'd need to text Rachel for Hummel's number so that he could have a live reenactment.

**So, again, the spacing was a little off. Urgh. But it's not that major. I love writing Puck. I love Puck, in general. And forever. I'm glad I got this out before the new episode! Much luv to you all!**


End file.
